How Can I Help? (Group Texting & Reading)

School ended a week ago. In ten weeks, we’ll start over again. But thinking about what happens over two months from now started before the last student walked out of the classroom for the last time.

I’ll be the first to admit, I am still walking up from a COVID coma. By that I mean, while the world was supposed to be sleeping during COVID, the world actually progressed.  I was so locked up in my little world that when life went “back to normal,” I had no idea what really transpired.

One of those seems to be the flourishing of students using their phones as a primary means of communication.  I recently read that the average age for students to have a phone, before COVID, was 14. Now it’s 11.  That means the average age for students to incorporate phones into their lives is fifth grade, on average. On average means students could be 8 or 9, as much as 13 or 14.  This also means, that students as early as third grade are becoming prone to “internet addictions.”

With the more widespread use of phones comes group texting.  What I’ve seen from group texting in upper elementary students is mind-boggling in more than one way, but primarily the amount of time students spend their time in group texts and the FOMO they are feeling is overwhelming to me, who would just assume be using Netscape and Napster.

In 10 weeks, many of us will open our schools to parents for the iron tradition of Open Houses. We will meet our students, give parents a sense of our classrooms and expectations, and celebrate the promise of a great new year!

Inevitably, parents will ask me what they can do to help out.

Over the past decade, I summarized this request with a basic appeal, “read at home.” Or I might say, “Make time to read at home.”

In some cases, this request is just that. A request. 

Being a parent and a teacher, I know firsthand the rigors of life after school.  Finding time to read, be it alone, or as a family can be a trifle. There are always pressing matters.

Only in the past year or so did I begin to reframe and reconsider the role of reading at home.

For many, the act of reading is a task. Something that needs to be done. An assignment. Something that, when completed, can be checked off without any real care or reflection as to how the last thirty minutes or so were invested. Kinda like vacuuming. How many of us reflect on how we vacuum and the strategic ways in which we vacuum?

Reading, however, is just as much a physiological act as it should be a cognitive act. The better way of saying this is reading requires mindfulness. Reading takes preparation, engagement, and reflection.  That is not conducive to a to-do list.

Unfortunately, in the lives of many families today, mindful reading is necessarily practical, after all, if school dismissed at 3, daycare till 5, maybe donner before practices start anywhere from 5-7 and end between 7-9, by the time students get home, boom, they’re in bed.

Now, I know there are variances among families from those who are more home-based to those who have students on three teams for one sport and have 2-3 other activities during the week.  Point being, that integrating reading into students’ lives, for the most part, is not an easy thing to do.

Amongst all this, add in group chats and Instagram scrolling!

For those of us who struggle with the addictions and consequences of internet addictions (I’m now eight months sober from Facebook!), we know the repercussions, from reading to our families, we know how scrolling, texting, and creating that all-important image on social media derails the essence of our humanity.  Almost environmentally, students are now falling into these traps in upper elementary school, meaning the art of reading is at more risk than ever.

Back to Open House.

Throughout last year, I began to reframe my appeal to read at home. This year, I plan to provide more of a tutorial on how to read at home. With parents asking what they can do to help, it’s going to require 1) Getting rid of phones and 2) taking time to be mindful of the reading experience.

Here why:

As many of us are accustomed, while we read, our phones are always nearby.  In some way, we are waiting for the pings and dings that keep us at a distance from being fully immersed in our reading. When those texts come in, or we succumb to FOMO and have to scroll, we pause our reading.  Having the phone nearby keeps our anxiety up. We do not allow ourselves to escape from the onslaught of information. And what’s happening as a result?  Reading is being blamed for the anxiety because ultimately, it’s the nonpreferred task!  When really, the phone is the root of anxiety.

Our bodies need to relax.  This is why so many avid readers love reading. It’s an escape. It’s time to tune out the world.  Reading is a means to reduce anxiety and be in perhaps a contemplative state.

Our schedules don’t always allow for this. We have to make a concerted effort to:

1)      Schedule time to read

2)      Allow for a transition/decompression time from life’s business to mentally preparing for reading.

3)      Read. Attempt to read in an upright position, perhaps with a pencil and highlighter. Annotating and highlighting are very effective ways to stay on task.

4)      When finished, stop, relax, and reflect. Maybe take some notes.

5)      Walk around for a few minutes, before resuming life. I mean, scrolling and group texting.

By setting boundaries, we can create success. Boundaries are they because we need them. They order and sensemaking into our lives.

Moving forward, I have to shift from the perceived command or demand to read to more of an invitation to take a break from life. Ultimately, I cannot control what happens at home, but if asked what can be done help, please, put down the phones, shut them off, get comfortable and read. Let time escape. Whatever is waiting for us will be there when it’s over.  The only FOMO that should be experienced is what is lost and unlearned from reading.

By the way, if you’re wondering. I write this because I fight the same issue. In recognizing this, I can invite students to become readers empathetically.